¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

1/13 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-01-15 1439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never lived far away from my family.
It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Being a million miles away from our family can be challenging since we can only have ourselves to count on and we have to stay independent. Well, if you will be away from your family, I think you will be just fine because you are a very strong and independent lady.

Kindly go over my suggestions below that include the correct order or words (syntax) as well as placing a pronoun to avoid being redundant in one sentence. Overall, you made an excellent piece of writing, great job!

-T. Donna~

I have never lived far away from my family.

>> Correct!

It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I was just a few times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.

So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
>> So, I haven't experienced  feeling that I couldn`t see my family easily.

Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
>> Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet them anytime I want.

However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
>> Correct!

Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
>> Correct! 
Or: Also, I couldn't help them easily, and on the contrary, they couldn't help me directly.

I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127581 homework 04.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 2132
127580 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1763
127579 Are friends sometimes more important than family? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 5
127578 It¡¯s more important for school children to learn about their... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 0
127577 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1806
127576 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1584
127575 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 0
127574 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 2089
127573 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 0
127572 When did you last have an overnight stay in another city? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1395
127571 My pronunciation! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1302
127570 Which one are you usually low on? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1787
127569 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1507
127568 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1253
127567 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 3
127566 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1987
127565 What things do you need to consider when setting a goal Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1988
127564 How important are first impressions to you? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1833
127563 In five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 1
127562 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-18 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04