¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

1/13 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-01-15 935

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never lived far away from my family.
It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Being a million miles away from our family can be challenging since we can only have ourselves to count on and we have to stay independent. Well, if you will be away from your family, I think you will be just fine because you are a very strong and independent lady.

Kindly go over my suggestions below that include the correct order or words (syntax) as well as placing a pronoun to avoid being redundant in one sentence. Overall, you made an excellent piece of writing, great job!

-T. Donna~

I have never lived far away from my family.

>> Correct!

It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I was just a few times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.

So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
>> So, I haven't experienced  feeling that I couldn`t see my family easily.

Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
>> Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet them anytime I want.

However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
>> Correct!

Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
>> Correct! 
Or: Also, I couldn't help them easily, and on the contrary, they couldn't help me directly.

I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124535 Planning a get-together ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 1004
124534 In my culture, ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1040
124533 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1129
124532 In your culture, do people give cards or gifts at the New Year?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1332
124531 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124530 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124529 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124528 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124527 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 2
124526 Answer : Do you think public transportation is better than... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1384
124525 Do you ever feel that questions asked on websites represent an... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 3
124524 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124523 There are many ways you can learn to cook. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1160
124522 everything which is about tennis. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1638
124521 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1659
124520 Do you agree that children should be protected at home, in... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1355
124519 What are the advantages of traveling alone? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1624
124518 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124517 What pets are most popular in your country? Do you have any... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1355
124516 How can using social media put your privacy at risk? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04