¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿ì
2023-01-17 1418

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan. Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seon U!
Thank you for always doing your homework! I completely agree with you; our eating habits have an impact on our lives. There's a saying: 'We are what we eat'.  What we eat reveals how we care for ourselves.
Anyway, you did an amazing job today. See you tomorrow~  
-T.Jhozel ^^

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan.
>> Correct!
>> OR: 
I believe that a person's diet has an impact on their lifespan.
Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. 
>> Some people consume unhealthy foods, such as marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks.
Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. 
>> These foods make us unhealthy. If we consume those foods, we may develop diseases such as diabetes.
So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible 
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123339 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2269
123338 How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2102
123337 Do rich people have the responsibility to help the poor? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1
123336 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2676
123335 How much free time do you usually have? What do you like to do... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2613
123334 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1856
123333 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2176
123332 Decision ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2
123331 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2
123330 What hobbies are popular with children, but not with adults? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2789
123329 The things that young can learn by voting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123328 The story that bites the tail and bite tail ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123327 The popular game ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123326 Depending on children\'s schedule ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123325 Use the following set of words in creative sentences. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2602
123324 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 2451
123323 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 3186
123322 Halloween ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 3
123321 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 0
123320 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 3725

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04