¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿ì
2023-01-17 1080

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan. Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seon U!
Thank you for always doing your homework! I completely agree with you; our eating habits have an impact on our lives. There's a saying: 'We are what we eat'.  What we eat reveals how we care for ourselves.
Anyway, you did an amazing job today. See you tomorrow~  
-T.Jhozel ^^

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan.
>> Correct!
>> OR: 
I believe that a person's diet has an impact on their lifespan.
Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. 
>> Some people consume unhealthy foods, such as marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks.
Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. 
>> These foods make us unhealthy. If we consume those foods, we may develop diseases such as diabetes.
So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible 
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124310 Christmas to me means a day to play. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1006
124309 What is your opinion about tattoo? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 992
124308 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1120
124307 Homework (12/20) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124306 Speaking of MBTI... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124305 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0
124304 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1180
124303 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1519
124302 blind date ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 5
124301 Is the bassist handsome? ^^ Share your answer in a few sentences. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124300 What is the most important thing in your life today? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124299 sorry ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 3
124298 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124297 Where is the most amazing place you have been? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 2550
124296 Movie ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 5
124295 Describe my future self! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1124
124294 animals ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 961
124293 Homework 12/20 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 14
124292 19.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124291 What are you studying these days? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04