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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Do you agree that all children should take part in taking care of their parents until they become ol

작성자: 황*하
2023-01-25 1387

회원님의 영작문

People in my parents generation tended to rely on their first born daughter to take care of their children because it was really hard for them to bring up children without help from their daughter. They have lived under the really harsh environment because there had been Korea war, as a result, everything had crushed, most people lost their home, assets and family too. Parents needed to make money to feed their children, there weren't ways to make a lot of money with only their physical labor. Parents would like one of their children to be a successful person, especially, first son in their family and asked daughters to support men. We were under the confucianism which stress the importance of men's role. It affected all aspects in our country and it was the center of our spirit. It was common sense that men work for their famliy and women to do house chores and do small things to make money. It was almost impossible women to have a job even in 50 years ago. But women's right and statu

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

People in my parents generation tended to rely on their first born daughter to take care of their children because it was really hard for them to bring up children without help from their daughter.
>> CORRECT! 
They have lived under the really harsh environment because there had been Korea war, as a result, everything had crushed, most people lost their home, assets and family too. 
>> They have lived under the really harsh environment because there had been the Korean war; as a result, everything had crushed, most people lost their home, assets and family too. 
Parents needed to make money to feed their children, there weren't ways to make a lot of money with only their physical labor. 
>> CORRECT! 
Parents would like one of their children to be a successful person, especially, first son in their family and asked daughters to support men. 
>> CORRECT! 
We were under the confucianism which stress the importance of men's role. 
>> We were under the Confucianism which stress the importance of men's role. 
It affected all aspects in our country and it was the center of our spirit. 
>> CORRECT! 
It was common sense that men work for their famliy and women to do house chores and do small things to make money. 
>> It was common sense that men work for their family and women do house chores and do small things to make money. 
It was almost impossible women to have a job even in 50 years ago. 
>> It was almost impossible women to have a job even 50 years ago. 
But women's right and statu
>> But women's right and status have all changed as time went by.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
127218 1. important 2. establish 3. boring 4. responsible 5. attitude 정*화 완료 2023-04-05 1375
127217 What is the best thing to do to stay healthy? 정*화 완료 2023-04-05 1491
127216 Wednesday Homework 류*우 완료 2023-04-05 2915
127215 Homework 박*민 완료 2023-04-05 2
127214 Nowadays, my goal of life is that everyone get happy life more... 이*웅 완료 2023-04-05 2
127213 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-04-05 2421
127212 4.5 homework 권*림 완료 2023-04-05 1958
127211 4.5 Homework 박*훈 완료 2023-04-05 1568
127210 What do you think about people gritting their teeth? Is it a... 지* 완료 2023-04-05 2
127209 Homework 4 신*화 완료 2023-04-05 1954
127208 Why do you think some people feel nervous when they go to the... 지* 완료 2023-04-05 2
127207 If I drink too much coffe.. 지* 완료 2023-04-05 1
127206 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-04-05 2
127205 What is your favorite restaurant and why? 조*민 완료 2023-04-05 1
127204 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-04-05 1
127203 How do you make time with your family when you have a pretty... 이*태 완료 2023-04-05 1620
127202 4/5 homework 최*봄 완료 2023-04-05 1904
127201 Drama 권*일 완료 2023-04-05 2
127200 What makes me be mad 성*경 완료 2023-04-05 1445
127199 Homework 정*혁 완료 2023-04-05 1974

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