무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

2023-1/25 HOMEWORK

작성자: 이*유
2023-01-26 1075

회원님의 영작문

I think it's not a good choice to get a plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance. If they want to make them look different, the first thing that they have to do is to smile and think possitive. If they did these everyday but it didn't work, they should get a massage. Massage is not changing their appearance, but making their bodypart stretched. So, it's not as same as the plastic surgery. I think people get plastic surgery because they are scared of the critics. Therefore, the first thing that others have to do is changing their mind. If we change our mind, other people will not be scared of getting scolded by others. However, there is a situation that people have to get a plastic surgery. First at all, there are people who have to change some of their bodypart because if they don't, it can make a bad affection to them. I said like these, but anything can't win the greed of people. All of the plastic surgerys were made by people because of their too much greed. -Watch ppt!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great answer, Zoe! ^_^ While you may have been against plastic surgery, you did not forget to mention its health benefits too, especially for people who genuinely need it. I recommend you give an example such as: "If a person gets hit by a car and breaks their bones, including their nose and their jaw, then they will definitely need plastic surgery." ^^ Greed is indeed difficult to overcome. Let's just hope people would eventually realize that everybody's beautiful in their own way~
~T.Harmony <3

I think it's not a good choice to get a plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance. 
>> I think it's not a wise decision to get plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance.
OR>> ...because it's not their original appearance.
If they want to make them look different, the first thing that they have to do is to smile and think possitive. 
>> If they want to look different, the first thing they should do is to smile and to think positive.
If they did these everyday but it didn't work, they should get a massage.
>> If they do these everyday, but it still won't work, then they should get a massage.
Massage is not changing their appearance, but making their bodypart stretched.
>> A massage doesn't their appearance. Instead, it stretches parts of their body.
So, it's not as same as the plastic surgery.
>> CORRECT!
I think people get plastic surgery because they are scared of the critics. 
>> CORRECT!
Therefore, the first thing that others have to do is changing their mind. 
>> Therefore, the first thing people should do is to change their mind.
If we change our mind, other people will not be scared of getting scolded by others. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...getting criticized by others.
However, there is a situation that people have to get a plastic surgery. 
>> However, there is a situation where it's necessary for people to get plastic surgery.
First at all, there are people who have to change some of their bodypart because if they don't, it can make a bad affection to them. 
>> First of all, there are people who need to undergo surgery and change some parts of their body, because if they don't, it can cause health problems.
I said like these, but anything can't win the greed of people. 
>> I mentioned all these things, but nothing can win against the greed of people.
All of the plastic surgerys were made by people because of their too much greed
>> All plastic surgeries were made by people because of their excessive greediness.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
124514 Homework 오*봄 완료 2022-12-30 3
124513 How did you manage overcoming yourself from using social media? 신*섭 완료 2022-12-30 1515
124512 What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you... 신*섭 완료 2022-12-30 937
124511 Define gender equality. What are the factors that should be... 황*하 완료 2022-12-30 1109
124510 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-12-30 1
124509 What was the single best thing that happened this past year? 임*윤 완료 2022-12-30 1411
124508 I love this new year! 김*율 완료 2022-12-30 1297
124507 Do you prefer to watch, listen to or read about news? 임*호 완료 2022-12-30 0
124506 29.Dec.2022 김*정 완료 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework 오*빈 완료 2022-12-30 4
124504 How much do you value your privacy? Why? 김*민 완료 2022-12-30 9
124503 The impulse buying 김*님 완료 2022-12-30 1228
124502 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... 김*성 완료 2022-12-29 2
124501 What is a memorable social gathering that you had in the past? 김*규 완료 2022-12-29 0
124500 Why do some people experience more difficulty than others when... 김*성 완료 2022-12-29 9
124499 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-12-29 1422
124498 homework 박*경 완료 2022-12-29 1088
124497 Have you ever volunteered to do something and then regretted... 태*서 완료 2022-12-29 1018
124496 homework 박*민 완료 2022-12-29 2
124495 What do you hope to achieve in your English studies? Are your... 이*태 완료 2022-12-29 1855

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]