¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2023-1/25 HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À¯
2023-01-26 1007

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's not a good choice to get a plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance. If they want to make them look different, the first thing that they have to do is to smile and think possitive. If they did these everyday but it didn't work, they should get a massage. Massage is not changing their appearance, but making their bodypart stretched. So, it's not as same as the plastic surgery. I think people get plastic surgery because they are scared of the critics. Therefore, the first thing that others have to do is changing their mind. If we change our mind, other people will not be scared of getting scolded by others. However, there is a situation that people have to get a plastic surgery. First at all, there are people who have to change some of their bodypart because if they don't, it can make a bad affection to them. I said like these, but anything can't win the greed of people. All of the plastic surgerys were made by people because of their too much greed. -Watch ppt!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great answer, Zoe! ^_^ While you may have been against plastic surgery, you did not forget to mention its health benefits too, especially for people who genuinely need it. I recommend you give an example such as: "If a person gets hit by a car and breaks their bones, including their nose and their jaw, then they will definitely need plastic surgery." ^^ Greed is indeed difficult to overcome. Let's just hope people would eventually realize that everybody's beautiful in their own way~
~T.Harmony <3

I think it's not a good choice to get a plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance. 
>> I think it's not a wise decision to get plastic surgery because it's not their own appearance.
OR>> ...because it's not their original appearance.
If they want to make them look different, the first thing that they have to do is to smile and think possitive. 
>> If they want to look different, the first thing they should do is to smile and to think positive.
If they did these everyday but it didn't work, they should get a massage.
>> If they do these everyday, but it still won't work, then they should get a massage.
Massage is not changing their appearance, but making their bodypart stretched.
>> A massage doesn't their appearance. Instead, it stretches parts of their body.
So, it's not as same as the plastic surgery.
>> CORRECT!
I think people get plastic surgery because they are scared of the critics. 
>> CORRECT!
Therefore, the first thing that others have to do is changing their mind. 
>> Therefore, the first thing people should do is to change their mind.
If we change our mind, other people will not be scared of getting scolded by others. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...getting criticized by others.
However, there is a situation that people have to get a plastic surgery. 
>> However, there is a situation where it's necessary for people to get plastic surgery.
First at all, there are people who have to change some of their bodypart because if they don't, it can make a bad affection to them. 
>> First of all, there are people who need to undergo surgery and change some parts of their body, because if they don't, it can cause health problems.
I said like these, but anything can't win the greed of people. 
>> I mentioned all these things, but nothing can win against the greed of people.
All of the plastic surgerys were made by people because of their too much greed
>> All plastic surgeries were made by people because of their excessive greediness.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127487 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1511
127486 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1592
127485 What is something you know you do differently than most people? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127484 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127483 homework 04.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1588
127482 What was the best thing about your childhood? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1861
127481 How many seasons are there in your country? Which is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127480 What\'s your thought on socialism? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127479 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 7
127478 Can social media be educational? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127477 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1176
127476 Do you believe in fortune tellers?/What other superstitions are... ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127475 4.14 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1948
127474 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1308
127473 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1795
127472 My favorite restaurant near my place ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1743
127471 today ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1382
127470 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1723
127469 How can you improve your focus when studying and learning... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127468 4.13 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2724

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04