¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people should have plastic surgery to enhance their looks?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-01-27 1150

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women's plastic surgery.

Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks? I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others. I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually. As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness? I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women. I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners. I agree with that. I think beauty is only skin deep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Wonderful composition, Steve! It's a nicely written essay on the subject. Women, in particular, are expected to contort to society's standard of beauty. I commend you for narrowing your statement from beauty in women all the way to the core definition of beauty itself. Asking a question back, or starting your essay with a question, is a clever way of drawing your readers' attention. :) 
~T.Harmony <3

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women's plastic surgery.
>>CORRECT!

Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks?
>>CORRECT!
I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others.
>>CORRECT!
I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually.
>>CORRECT!
As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
>>CORRECT!
So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. 
>>CORRECT!
Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness?
>>CORRECT!
I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women.
>>CORRECT!
I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners.
>> I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships, who advised the audience...
I agree with that.
>>CORRECT!
I think beauty is only skin deep.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123802 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-26 182
123801 Homework(11/11) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-26 3
123800 Homework (11/10) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-26 3
123799 Homework(11/9) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-26 1
123798 Homework(11/8) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-26 4
123797 Birthday wishes ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 1927
123796 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 1575
123795 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2
123794 In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2185
123793 What are the innovative ways that your country has so far come... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2128
123792 expectation from the class and you. ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 1918
123791 Black Pink is one of the most famous of K-pop artists. ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 3
123790 What would you do if you were the last person left on Earth? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 1789
123789 What are your feelings towards your own language? Explain. ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2
123788 About the motivating me lately. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 0
123787 How will you protect the environment in your own way? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 1994
123786 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 0
123785 In your opinion, what is the best age to be? Why? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2397
123784 What\'s your most valued possession? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2484
123783 Combine each pair of sentences, using who, which, that, whom or... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 2338

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04