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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-01-30 773

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
Every Monday, I am exhausted.
This morning, I had many patients, procedures, and paperworks.
At lunch, after a brief meal, I taught our staff about a brandnew treatment for dermatitis.
From this afternoon to the evening, our new staff who will be next chief manager stayed with me, and I had to show all my treatments with a plenty of explanation.
She is older than me, about ten years differences.
Dr. MJ, this current chief manager, and me were accepted to select her to next leader.
She always seems to be friendly, smart, and warm.
Hence, we expect her to be a good leader after a training course.
And today's staying with me was the one of the training processes.
About my homework, I realized that I should speak clearly if I want someone to understand my words.
Also, I know that I can speak with my facial and hand movements.
First of all, confidence is the most important, I think.
I wish my English speaking will be better so fast.
See you. Good night.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim! 

I had a busy day yesterday but nontheless, I was so happy on a Monday. As I can see and learn about from yours, it was  a busy and interesting one as well.

I wonder how the new treatment for dematitis is. I am sure that your patients are benefitting well from this technnology. Not only that you have som medical procedues, you also needed to train your new chief manager to take over soon. Your clinic is very dynamic and full of possibilities. Right now, you need a lot of patience in showing her the correct process step-by-step so she can catch up with others there in your clinic.

You are right, confidence is key to a successful and enjoyable communication. As you have noticed, there are a lot of people who are happy and just keep speaking even if they commit some mistakes at first. Eventually, they can speak the best in the end because they never stopped being confident in speaking. So, be confident, keep speaking in English, and thank you very much for accomplishing your homework!

My suggestions were underlined or deleted from some of the sentences below. Plase study them well.

With these, see you again tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

Every Monday, I am exhausted.
>> Correct!

This morning, I had many patients, procedures, and paperworks.
>> Correct!

At lunch, after a brief meal, I taught our staff about a brandnew treatment for dermatitis.
>> Correct!

From this afternoon to the evening, our new staff who will be next chief manager stayed with me, and I had to show all my treatments with a plenty of explanation.
>> From this afternoon to the evening, our new staff who will be the next chief manager stayed with me, and I had to show all my treatments with plenty of explanation.

She is older than me, about ten years differences.
>> She is older than me, about ten-year differences.

Dr. MJ, this current chief manager, and me were accepted to select her to next leader.
>> Dr. MJ, this current chief manager, and I accepted to select her to be the next leader.

She always seems to be friendly, smart, and warm.
>> Correct!

Hence, we expect her to be a good leader after a training course.
>> Hence, we expect her to be a good leader after the training course.

And today's staying with me was the one of the training processes.
>> And staying with me today was the one about the training processes.

About my homework, I realized that I should speak clearly if I want someone to understand my words.
>> Correct!

Also, I know that I can speak with my facial and hand movements.
>> Correct!

First of all, confidence is the most important, I think.
>> Correct!

I wish my English speaking will be better so fast.
>> I wish my English speech will be better quickly.

See you. Good night.
>> Correct!
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