¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that married young women with higher earned income are more likely to become ¡®Time Poor

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-01-31 1152

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Men was the one who makes money for their family but women and men go to work because it is difficult to educate their children with income from one person. People thought that they could have more free time since information technology introduced. However, most people have to answer more emails in every moment and need to do more work compare to the past due to the improvement of technology. Employers and employees always have different idea about most issues around the company, as an owners, they want staffs to work more time and want to get the best performance. They promise the promotion to employees, if staffs''s achievement is outstanding. It is true that most people live for money these days, but if they think it is enough for them, they would like to be well known people and want to leave their name in the world. We thought that we would be happier than before, if we have enough money, but people's mind has changed to pursue their free time because they realize that money is n

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Men was the one who makes money for their family but women and men go to work because it is difficult to educate their children with income from one person. 
>> Men were the ones who make money for their family but women and men go to work because it is difficult to educate their children with income from one person only. 
People thought that they could have more free time since information technology introduced. 
>> People thought that they could have more free time since information and technology was introduced. 
However, most people have to answer more emails in every moment and need to do more work compare to the past due to the improvement of technology. 
>> CORRECT!
Employers and employees always have different idea about most issues around the company, as an owners, they want staffs to work more time and want to get the best performance. 
>> Employers and employees always have different idea about most issues around the company; as owners, they want staffs to work more time and want to get the best performance. 
They promise the promotion to employees, if staffs''s achievement is outstanding. 
>> They promise the promotion to employees, if staff's achievement is outstanding. 
It is true that most people live for money these days, but if they think it is enough for them, they would like to be well known people and want to leave their name in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
We thought that we would be happier than before, if we have enough money, but people's mind has changed to pursue their free time because they realize that money is n
>> We thought that we would be happier than before if we have enough money, but people's minds have changed to pursue their free time because they realize that money is not that important compared to time itself.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127650 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1398
127649 What do you think is the best way to love yourself? Cite at... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 5
127648 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1
127647 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2569
127646 How many seasons are there in your country? Do you think you\'d... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 0
127645 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2045
127644 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1735
127643 What are the qualities that a receptionist must have? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2
127642 conversation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1
127641 homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1
127640 4.20 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1779
127639 When is it best to take the front row seat? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2114
127638 I go there on saturday only. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2
127637 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1
127636 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2459
127635 18.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1
127634 HOMEWORK FOR 04/17 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2
127633 Essay homework (04/20) ÃÖ*Çå ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1353
127632 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 2028
127631 Pronunciation challenge! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-20 1768

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04