¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Gathering you last attended.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2023-01-31 1717

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello ~ Teacher,

Thank teacher for your advice.
So, I asked power English Korea office.
I know when I used writing site.
Sorry, I'm old women and not good idea.

I visited church after a long time. Because COVID19.
How about teacher country?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Jini! ^^,)

Thank you for this composition.
I thoroughly read it and made some corrections.

Most restrictions here in my country have already been lifted. People can go to church, the mall, the park, and other establishments with minimal COVID-19 guidelines.

I will talk to you again on Thursday. Have a good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


Hello ~ Teacher,
>>> Hello, Teacher!

Thank teacher for your advice.
>>> Teacher, thank you for your advice.
So, I asked power English Korea office.

I know when I used writing site.
>>> I called the Korean office, and now I know where to submit my composition on the website.
Sorry, I'm old women and not good idea.
>>> I'm sorry that I already old to know things like this.

I visited church after a long time. Because COVID19.
>>> I visited the church after a long time that I wasn't able to because of COVID-19.
>>> OR: I finally went to the church after a long absence due to COVID-19.
How about teacher country?
>>> How is the situation in your country, teacher?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124813 What is the right age to introduce gadgets to children? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 690
124812 123 ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 980
124811 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1820
124810 Volunteer ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1
124809 Should there be individual privacy for family members at home? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 948
124808 Do you agree that the first impression lasts? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1055
124807 Car that is bestselling in our country ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 961
124806 1/12 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1
124805 My best weekend is go to swim. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1
124804 11.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 3
124803 Which home appliance is your favorite? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 0
124802 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1923
124801 Good neighbor ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 887
124800 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 830
124799 Body language is definitely IMPORTANT ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 720
124798 Should cheaters be given a second or third chance? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 2
124797 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 854
124796 Do you think that the person having the birthday should pay for... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 791
124795 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 2
124794 Doing homework is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 748

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04