¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-02-02 1393

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
He was polite, gentle, and kind.
He appreciated me many times.
So, how could I teach him without my best?
He learned many know-how from me.
After my work, I was totally exhausted.
And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
In fact, I wanted more, though.
Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
About my homework, I like my personality basically.
I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good moring, Dr. Kim!

Hectic days are a gift. They make you stronger, better in your professioin, and richer in experince. Dr. Bae is lucky to learn from you. You are both kind doctors. This characted of beiing kind makes you empathize to your patients well and it makes them feel comfortable and safe when they get their treatments from you. 

Meanwhile, whisky has been your evening bestfriend. Always take it in with some food in your stomach. Just like yesterday, you apoke much in class with candidness, sympathy and empathy, and vivid descriptions. I like these most about your speech. Here n your writing, it is pretty much the same. 

Now, some are sympathetic or empathetic. Others have less of these. So, I think that you and Dr. M.J. are the opposite kinds. You balance each other's energies well and this is good in business. 

Go over my suggestions below in some of your sentences. Your consistency is very high and you always incorporate my suggestions to your speech and writing. With these, excellent job once again!

Have a wonderful day!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
>> As  expected, I had a hectic day.
Or: As I expected, it was a hectic day.

I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
>>  I taught Dr. Bae all day as if a mother did that to her baby.

He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
>> Correct!

During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
>> Correct!

He was polite, gentle, and kind.
>> Correct!

He appreciated me many times.
>> Correct!

So, how could I teach him without my best?
>> Correct!

He learned many know-how from me.
>> Correct!

After my work, I was totally exhausted.
>> Correct!

And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
>> Correct!

Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
>> Hence, I drank three glasses of whiskey.

In fact, I wanted more, though.
>> Correct!

Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
>> Correct!

About my homework, I like my personality basically.
>> Correct!

I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
>> Dr. MJ doesn't understand  it, and he even thinks that it is bad to empathize to other's emotion too much.

But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
>> Correct!

And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
>> And sometimes, it makes me think that I am human.

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125652 Activity ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2133
125651 Please name five (5) land animals. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3
125650 Homework ¹æ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125649 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1
125648 Home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1375
125647 Blind dating..what a mess!! ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 5
125646 2/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1115
125645 Do you think going to less popular places is better than popular... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1361
125644 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1227
125643 Make or compose three to five (3-5) sentences using the verb... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2109
125642 Hard at first time, but it¡¯s just a piece of cake! ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125641 Imagine graduating from high school. Write about your last year... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125640 homework 02.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1139
125639 What would be your perfect Valentine\'s day? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 956
125638 What would the world be lije without the internet Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1004
125637 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1030
125636 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125635 Homework from the Feedback (12) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1633
125634 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125633 What is on your bucket list? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1576

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04