¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are people in your country generally close to their families?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*¶ó
2023-02-03 812

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In the past, family culture played important role in South Korea.
When I look back on my childhood, my grand father and my father decided what my family do next.
And, we did all together.
We used to share joy, sadness even anger.
However, this phenomenon has totally changed.
Recently, I can see that people enjoy individualism instead of family culture in normal life.
Many people consider their own dream, plan and interests more important than the ones of family.
Even some Koreans do not understand self-sacrifice for their family.
So, lots of Koreans are getting far from their family.
Moreover, COVID-19 prohibited for families to get together, even holidays.
In the first time of the pandemic, people were so sorry to not get together.
Now, they take it for granted and enjoy their free time without family.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yu La!
The efforts that you showed in your composition this week were outstanding.
I hope you would keep the same determination always.
Your diligence is what sets you apart from the rest so take pride in that.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
In the past, family culture played important role in South Korea.
>> In the past, family culture played an important role in South Korea.
When I look back on my childhood, my grand father and my father decided what my family do next.
>> When I look back on my childhood, my grandfather and my father decided on what my family would do next.
And, we did all together.
>> We did everything together.
We used to share joy, sadness even anger.
>> We used to share joy, sadness and even anger.
However, this phenomenon has totally changed.
>> Correct
Recently, I can see that people enjoy individualism instead of family culture in normal life.
>> Correct
Many people consider their own dream, plan and interests more important than the ones of family.
>> Many people consider their own dreams, plans and interests more important than the ones of family.
Even some Koreans do not understand self-sacrifice for their family.
>> Correct
So, lots of Koreans are getting far from their family.
>> So, lots of Koreans are becoming more estranged from their family. 
Moreover, COVID-19 prohibited for families to get together, even holidays.
>> Moreover, COVID-19 prohibited families to get together, even on holidays.
In the first time of the pandemic, people were so sorry to not get together.
>> In the beginning of the pandemic, people felt so sorry for not being able to get together.
Now, they take it for granted and enjoy their free time without family.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125912 Your feet will bring you to where your heart is\" is irish... ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125911 The place I spend my retirement ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 976
125910 1. pet 2. take care ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125909 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125908 Which do you prefer, a small class or a big class? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 2
125907 2023-2/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1533
125906 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 2
125905 HOMEWORK Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 823
125904 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 906
125903 Rocks ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 2
125902 home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1267
125901 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1331
125900 I want ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125899 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 760
125898 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125897 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: Some people believe that money is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125896 What is the most important lesson you have learned since you had... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1226
125895 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 798
125894 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 1
125893 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-22 907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04