¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2023-02-03 1304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What makes a happy home?
A: I think kind and honest family members and a clean house makes a happy home.
If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and also, if there aren't honest, they can't believe each other.
And usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think kind and honest family members and a clean house makes a happy home.

>> CORRECT!
If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and also, if there aren't honest, they can't believe each other.

>> If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and if they aren't honest, they can't believe each other.
And usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

>> Usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124984 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 2
124983 At this stage of your life, are you beginning to make plans for... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1517
124982 multicultural family ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1
124981 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 953
124980 Hobbies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 0
124979 What is the software application that is used the most often? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1810
124978 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1
124977 My worst day is a stuty day ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 8
124976 18.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1
124975 What does a seed need in order to grow? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1
124974 what are your weakness in Engilish ¹Ú*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1073
124973 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1159
124972 Some facts about Lunar New Year ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-19 1009
124971 The reasons I don\'t want to be a athlete ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124970 What do you wish for others this year? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124969 Hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 0
124968 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1224
124967 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 2
124966 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1113
124965 What do friends mean to you? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1327

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04