¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Risk of dangerous.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2023-02-05 1205

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Starting my own business have a lot of risk.
It cost a lot of money to do your own business.
You might not get back your business cost.
Like office rental, furniture,machine and so on.
Sometimes your damage can bigger than Price of expensive house.
You must pay salary to your labors even if you didn¡¯t make money.
So You should be careful to start your own business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Ms. Sunny!
I totally agreed and admired your viewpoint here People who are bold and ready to take risks are the ones who need to engage in business. These people are also the ones who don't want to work for others.
Thank you for doing your homework. See you!
Aki~

Starting my own business have a lot of risk. 
>>> Starting my own business has a lot of risks. 

It cost a lot of money to do your own business.
>>> CORRECT!

You might not get back your business cost.
>>> CORRECT!

Like office rental, furniture,machine and so on.
>>> CORRECT!

Sometimes your damage can bigger than Price of expensive house.
>>> Sometimes your damage can be bigger than the price of an expensive house.

You must pay salary to your labors even if you didn¡¯t make money.
>>>  You must pay a salary to your laborers even if you didn¡¯t make money.

So You should be careful to start your own business.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127211 4.5 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1539
127210 What do you think about people gritting their teeth? Is it a... Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127209 Homework 4 ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1922
127208 Why do you think some people feel nervous when they go to the... Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127207 If I drink too much coffe.. Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127206 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127205 What is your favorite restaurant and why? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127204 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127203 How do you make time with your family when you have a pretty... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1574
127202 4/5 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1877
127201 Drama ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127200 What makes me be mad ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1422
127199 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1960
127198 Favorite summer memories ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1436
127197 Topics that I\'m interested about Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127196 What are the advantages and disadvantages of talking in person? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1884
127195 What do you think are the effects of school bullying/violence? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127194 Bullying and violence in school is outright criminal. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3
127193 4.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127192 3.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04