¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2023-02-06 1410

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What makes a happy home?
A: I think kind and honest family members and a clean house makes a happy home.
If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and also, if there aren't honest, they can't believe each other.
And usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think kind and honest family members and a clean house makes a happy home.

>> CORRECT!
If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and also, if there aren't honest, they can't believe each other.

>> If the family members aren't kind, they won't feel good in their house, and if they aren't honest, they can't believe each other.
And usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

>> Usually, if the house isn't clean, then people don't feel good.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124515 end ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124514 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 3
124513 How did you manage overcoming yourself from using social media? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1672
124512 What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 998
124511 Define gender equality. What are the factors that should be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1137
124510 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124509 What was the single best thing that happened this past year? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1482
124508 I love this new year! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1431
124507 Do you prefer to watch, listen to or read about news? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124506 29.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124504 How much do you value your privacy? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124503 The impulse buying ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1336
124502 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124501 What is a memorable social gathering that you had in the past? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 0
124500 Why do some people experience more difficulty than others when... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 9
124499 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1511
124498 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1167
124497 Have you ever volunteered to do something and then regretted... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1066
124496 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04