¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do some people collect things? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-07 1735

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
What makes you collect things? Just begin to collect something from today. You can be inspired by it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!
Thank you for your composition today.
Take note of the corrections below.
I hope you learn from them and apply them in your daily studies.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. 
>> Correct
In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. 
>> Correct
Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. 
>> Correct
For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
>> For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets from places or buildings he visited and put them on an iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. 
>> Correct
Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. 
>> Lastly, people collect things to hand over to people close to them like their children or friends. 
My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. 
>> Correct
They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
>> Correct
What makes you collect things? 
>> Correct
Just begin to collect something from today. 
>> Correct
You can be inspired by it.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125830 Fresh fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1974
125829 What do you like about your smartphone? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125828 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125827 What do you think are the most important qualities a president... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1654
125826 2023-2/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1801
125825 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1501
125824 my all time favorite movie. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1099
125823 Tell me something that motivates you to become productive. ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2061
125822 Hanging out ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 3
125821 Feeling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125820 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1628
125819 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2257
125818 introduction 1 ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125817 Can money buy happiness or success? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2
125816 introduction 2 ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125815 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1420
125814 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1596
125813 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2514
125812 Homework from the Feedback (14) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2325
125811 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04