¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree with ¡°chemical castration¡± as punishment for more child sex offenders?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-02-10 1061

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail. We need stronger

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. 
>> I think that chemical castration can be the most effective measure to prevent additional crimes. 
We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
>> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
OR >> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat all over again. 
There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. 
>> CORRECT!
Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
>> Although, prisoners take a lot of education including psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. 
>> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient sentences. 
OR >> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient punishments. 
Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. 
>> Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectations
They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. 
>> They insist that heavy sentence can't be the way to reduce or prevent crimes. 
They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
>> They think proper training in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. 
>> According to the report published by professional group, they show significant evidences that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than a heavy sentence
However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail.
>> However, we don't want to be exposed to the dangerous situation due to criminals who were released from the jail.
We need stronger
>> We need stronger punishments and strict policies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125659 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1
125658 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1
125657 How do you help others? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 768
125656 What have you lost while traveling? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1160
125655 2/15 Homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1357
125654 Good gets good, Mean gets mean ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 886
125653 Proverb ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125652 Activity ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1782
125651 Please name five (5) land animals. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3
125650 Homework ¹æ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125649 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1
125648 Home work ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 917
125647 Blind dating..what a mess!! ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 5
125646 2/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 840
125645 Do you think going to less popular places is better than popular... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1011
125644 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 927
125643 Make or compose three to five (3-5) sentences using the verb... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1782
125642 Hard at first time, but it¡¯s just a piece of cake! ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125641 Imagine graduating from high school. Write about your last year... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125640 homework 02.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 859

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04