무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you agree with “chemical castration” as punishment for more child sex offenders?

작성자: 황*하
2023-02-10 1077

회원님의 영작문

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail. We need stronger

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that chemical castration can be the most effect measure to prevent additional crime. 
>> I think that chemical castration can be the most effective measure to prevent additional crimes. 
We have seen a lot of offenders who commited brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
>> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat it again and again. 
OR >> We have seen a lot of offenders who committed brutal crime and repeat all over again. 
There is a healing program for prisoners to prevent reoffending following their release in the jail. 
>> CORRECT!
Although, prisoners take a lot of education inculding psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
>> Although, prisoners take a lot of education including psychological treatment, reoffending rate is still high. 
I think that major reason keeping high crimine rate is lenient sentence. 
>> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient sentences. 
OR >> I think that major reason why the crime rate keeps going high is because lenient punishments. 
Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectaion. 
>> Somehow, judges final ruling is not enough to meet people's general expectations. 
They insist that heavy sentense can't be the way to reduce or prevent crime. 
>> They insist that heavy sentence can't be the way to reduce or prevent crimes. 
They think proper trainning in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
>> They think proper training in the jail is more effective to prevent citizens. 
According to the report published by professional group shows significant evidence that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than heavy sentense. 
>> According to the report published by professional group, they show significant evidences that psychological and emotional treatment is more successful than a heavy sentence. 
However, we don't want to be exposed in the dangerouos situation due to criminals who was released from the jail.
>> However, we don't want to be exposed to the dangerous situation due to criminals who were released from the jail.
We need stronger
>> We need stronger punishments and strict policies.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
125283 Thursday homework 류*우 완료 2023-02-02 2118
125282 HOMEWORK 홍*선 완료 2023-02-02 2
125281 Lesson 4 : Homework 김*혜 완료 2023-02-02 755
125280 Homework 박*민 완료 2023-02-02 981
125279 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-02-02 1
125278 Go paragliding or do paragliding? 배*혜 완료 2023-02-02 886
125277 [Homework] Do you like putting many things on your desk? 박*준 완료 2023-02-02 7
125276 교정 조*희 완료 2023-02-02 697
125275 How homework affects the brain? 임*윤 완료 2023-02-02 839
125274 Koreans are lost phone and wallet. 오*혁 완료 2023-02-02 106
125273 What Korean food will you not recommend and why? 장*규 완료 2023-02-02 763
125272 31.Jan.2023 김*정 완료 2023-02-02 1
125271 Wednesday, 1st of Februay 이*훈 완료 2023-02-02 774
125270 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-02-02 1112
125269 2023-2/1 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2023-02-01 670
125268 homework3 최*� 완료 2023-02-01 810
125267 To you, what is a memorable movie? 김*규 완료 2023-02-01 2
125266 I think 박*우 완료 2023-02-01 664
125265 homework 박*경 완료 2023-02-01 719
125264 The most important thing 김*님 완료 2023-02-01 1747

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]