¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-02-16 1351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Actually, I am drunken now.
There is a problem.
These days, I drank whiskey everyday for some excuse.
Because I have been tired everyday, I needed whiskey.
Can you understand me?
Anyway, I couldn't help but open my car's roof today.
I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing.
Today, our oldest staff who is older than me about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest. you seem so tired."
In fact, I am full of pressure.
That's why I opened the roof of my car and drank whiskey as well.
There's been a change in our clinic.
There were more clients and patients everyday.
In addition, because the moving day is coming, we should do many administrative work.
I am running out of energy quickly.
Fortunately, my family and my staff are stable lately.
After moving to new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confident.
That's because I will be very proud of my new clinic with the beautiful interior.
Of course, I have to work with my best.
Catch you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good noon, Dr. Kim!

Whether you are drunk or not, I think you are showing a very good consistency in writing your composition. So, thank you once again for sharing all the updates and the latest happenings in your clinic and your upcoming transfer.

As I shared in class, I also had my share of toxic moments of mixing hard work, alcohol, not to mention messed up relationships in the past. But then, finding the boundary and balance (according to Beyoncé Knowles) is the key to a better and happier life. So, I understand you totally. However, moderate drinking is still recommended in your case. Be careful in opening your car's roof. You may have a few hair left. ^^ I kid. Relieve yourself from stress in pleasant and enjoyable ways.

Since you are a very outgoing person and derive energy from people, spend it with the ones who make you feel loved, joyful, and appreciated. You need them as much as they need you. Then, have a blast with your beautiful little ladies and your lovely and loving wife over the weekend. 

My grammar suggestions are about correct verb tense, preposition, adverbs, among others. Kindly read and study them carefully. Thank you for the brilliance of your work and cheers to a week of hard work and success!

Happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Actually, I am drunken now.
>> Actually, I am drunk now.

There is a problem.
>> Correct!

These days, I drank whiskey everyday for some excuse.
>> Correct!

Because I have been tired everyday, I needed whiskey.
>> Correct!

Can you understand me?
>> Correct!

Anyway, I couldn't help but open my car's roof today.
>> Correct!

I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing.
>> I took a lot of work recently, so I needed a refreshing (time/ moment).

Today, our oldest staff who is older than me about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest. you seem so tired."
>> Correct!
Or: 
Today, our oldest staff who is older than me for about 12 years said, "Dr. Kim, you should take a rest, you seem so tired."

In fact, I am full of pressure.
>> Correct!

That's why I opened the roof of my car and drank whiskey as well.
>> Correct!

There's been a change in our clinic.
>> Correct!

There were more clients and patients everyday.
>> Correct!

In addition, because the moving day is coming, we should do many administrative work.
>> Correct!

I am running out of energy quickly.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, my family and my staff are stable lately.
>> Correct!

After moving to new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confident.
>>After moving to the new clinic, I will talk to my patients more confidently.

That's because I will be very proud of my new clinic with the beautiful interior.
>> Correct!

Of course, I have to work with my best.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128885 Isaac Asimov was a biochemist, but he is most popular for his... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 5
128884 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 2176
128883 Voice mail ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 1571
128882 My pizza! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 1887
128881 What is the latest animated movie you watched? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 0
128880 06-16 homework ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-16 3087
128879 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2282
128878 homework 06.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 3392
128877 why the health is important ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2773
128876 How I make friends ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2466
128875 What is the most beatiful for you , the moon or the sun? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2414
128874 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2042
128873 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 3378
128872 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2692
128871 What effect does violence in movies or video games have on kids? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 3504
128870 If you were the owner of a convenience store chain or franchise,... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 5
128869 Racism ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 1
128868 What do you like to do when you\'re not at school? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 0
128867 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 2536
128866 Gene Fowler said ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-15 1920

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04