¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people focus too much on appearing to be successful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-17 1738

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it differs from person to person because each person has a particular strategy to succeed. Some people use their attractive appearance or fancy car to win business deals-We Koreans tend to trust those with fancy cars. The other people develop their skills and professional knowledge to succeed. Whatever strategy you have, it's sure that good looks give people a good impression and favor.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Steve.
Thank you for sending it! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



         Do you think people focus too much on appearing to be successful?

I think it differs from person to person because each person has a particular strategy to succeed. 
>> OR: I supposed this hinges on the person's approach to success. 

Some people use their attractive appearance or fancy car to win business deals-We Koreans tend to trust those with fancy cars. 
>> OR: Some people with an attractive appearance or fancy cars have a better chance of closing business deals - Koreans are more inclined to trust those who drive high-end cars. 

The other people develop their skills and professional knowledge to succeed. 
>> OR: Whereas others choose to work more on their skills and professional knowledge as a means to achieve success. 

Whatever strategy you have, it's sure that good looks give people a good impression and favor.
>> OR: Whatever game plan you have, there's no question that good looks can give people a head start on anything they decide to take on in life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124201 Being a dentist! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1480
124200 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 0
124199 My friend and teacher are tourist in Korea ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 4
124198 It¡¯s so hard! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1400
124197 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2693
124196 What can you say about hate speech, bullying, and human rights... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2625
124195 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 0
124194 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1
124193 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 0
124192 homework : the packing list ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2298
124191 Good weather to live ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2
124190 What do you look forward to in your next work? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2
124189 Do you think advertising influences you? How? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1447
124188 What kind of pollution personally bothers you most? Why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1747
124187 gap ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1770
124186 Is salary a major priority you have when looking for a job? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1589
124185 International language ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1433
124184 Where is the most amazing place you have been? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1
124183 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1482
124182 When can stress be a good thing? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2043

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04