¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-22 828

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years. So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve!

Here's your edited composition. 
I appreciate your sending it. See you soon! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



          What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years.
>> OR: Rural people have mostly lived here all their life. 

So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> So they might feel sick and tired of the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> OR: Consquently, they might feel sick owing to the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 

Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 
>> Moreover, the lifestyle in the city is totally different from the one in the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 

As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.
>> OR: As shown in the story of a city mouse and a country mouse, many people from the country who moved to the city will eventually head back to the country because of the city's cold individualism and polluted environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125977 How are hobbies now different from hobbies in the past? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125976 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125975 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 0
125974 Difficult to choice ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125973 What do you do when you see discrimination? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1578
125972 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 931
125971 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125970 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 4
125969 Do you think there is a better alternative to democracy? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1130
125968 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 0
125967 Do you think the way people look at failure plays a big part in... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1559
125966 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1316
125965 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125964 vocabulary_dahe_homework_conflict À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1725
125963 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1
125962 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 0
125961 How does being in nature make you feel? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1809
125960 Do you have a close relationship with your cousins? Do you enjoy... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1134
125959 2/24 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1034
125958 21.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04