¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the reason why outdoor activities are important to student.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*º°
2023-02-23 1515

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

some students feel tired from studying. In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. outdoor activities are really important to study. some people say studying is a physical fight. so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Stella!
Thank you for completing your homework. 
You did great in expressing your ideas! Keep it up! ^^
-T.Jhozel 
some students feel tired from studying. 
>> Correct!
OR: 
Some students become exhausted while studying.
In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. 
>> In that case, doing outdoor activities can relieve fatigue.
and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. 
>> It can also prevent causing many diseases as a result of the stress of studying.
outdoor activities are really important to study. 
>>  Outdoor activities are really important for studying.
some people say studying is a physical fight. 
>> Some people think that studying is a physical struggle.
so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying
>> So studying combined with consistent outdoor activities is preferable to studying alone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124862 Where would you like to go on vacation? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1253
124861 What is the greatest challenge you have faced this month? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1503
124860 Answer : What was a good decision you made in the past? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1326
124859 What is the impact of movies in our life? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1194
124858 Life without music¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1128
124857 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124856 Can you tell me about a strange dream you had? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124855 How much do you value your time? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1543
124854 Can you talk about three things you want to do this year? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124853 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1315
124852 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124851 What is something that you do that wastes so much of your time?... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124850 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124849 What is your opinion about the growing number of lonely deaths... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1163
124848 The perspective of tatoo ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124847 Avatar : The way of water ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1289
124846 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1357
124845 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1313
124844 Whose presence do you always enjoy being with? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1417
124843 Do you like to try local foods when you go somewhere? Have you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1827

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04