¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the reason why outdoor activities are important to student.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*º°
2023-02-23 1316

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

some students feel tired from studying. In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. outdoor activities are really important to study. some people say studying is a physical fight. so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Stella!
Thank you for completing your homework. 
You did great in expressing your ideas! Keep it up! ^^
-T.Jhozel 
some students feel tired from studying. 
>> Correct!
OR: 
Some students become exhausted while studying.
In that case, it is good to relieve fatigue by doing outdoor activities. 
>> In that case, doing outdoor activities can relieve fatigue.
and it can provent many disease from stress of studying. 
>> It can also prevent causing many diseases as a result of the stress of studying.
outdoor activities are really important to study. 
>>  Outdoor activities are really important for studying.
some people say studying is a physical fight. 
>> Some people think that studying is a physical struggle.
so doing studying with steady outdoor activities are better than only doing studying
>> So studying combined with consistent outdoor activities is preferable to studying alone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127353 How many friends do you have? Do you like spending time with... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 3
127352 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1852
127351 What\'s your thought on teenage pregnancy? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 6
127350 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 0
127349 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127348 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 2679
127347 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1620
127346 attending ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127345 Which part of learning English unnerves you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1519
127344 4.11 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1110
127343 How do you feel the evening before the weekend starts? ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127342 Name one skill that you\'d like to learn or try in 2023. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1704
127341 How can art be a part of culture? Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1442
127340 What activities do you do in your free time? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1621
127339 4.11 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1991
127338 How does what we eat affect our mental health? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127337 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1553
127336 Recommending korean food À±*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 1
127335 homework 4/11 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 8
127334 Learning English 2 ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-11 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04