¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

A good mother.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-02-24 1730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. A good mother is one who can relate emotionally. Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

No. A good mother doesn't have to give up her job and stay at home with her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

A good mother is one who can relate emotionally.
>>> CORRECT!

Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on emotional connection. 
>>> Leaving her job doesn't mean she is missing out on the emotional connection. 

And it is also a good mother to raise them financially. 
>>> CORRECT!

Of course, her job will reduce her time to take care of her children. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation(Except for abuse). 
>>> However, this is decided between their families, and it is not right for a third party to say anything after seeing such a situation (except for abuse).

A good mother can be if she can express that she loves her children.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128331 tia ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2272
128330 My teaching style ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2538
128329 Answer : Choose one member from your family and describe him/her... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2056
128328 Gossips, Rumors. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2374
128327 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2760
128326 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 2480
128325 Which country will you repeatedly visit and the reason behind it? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 3
128324 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2282
128323 Homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2280
128322 lesson À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 3040
128321 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2293
128320 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2149
128319 homework 05.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2118
128318 The Gyeongju World is excellent. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 3
128317 Does your family go to the theatre? What movies do you watch? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 0
128316 In three to five sentences (3-5), talk about your \"worst day.\" ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 3471
128315 What activities or games do you play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2508
128314 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for cyberbullying ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2473
128313 The country I want to visit ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2296
128312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 2910

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04