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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How to cook your own fascinating food

작성자: 김*율
2023-02-27 1294

회원님의 영작문

Hi, dears! My name is Parseltounge Slytherin. Oh, yes people who've read Harry Potter would think of me as a desendant of Salazar Slytherin but I'm an ancestor of him, my dears. Never imagined Harry would be real? I see. He's living with Ginny right now. Oh that brave little boy, Harry. He fought off Voldemort himself! Oh my gosh, sorry dears, I forgot what I was about to say! This potion is called 'Retrieving Lives' Potion. But! only a parseltounge like me should be able to make it. Ah, let see, we've to get 7 snake scales, a bowl of the new invisible moon's core, and a boa baby's weak venom. We have 6 scales and a bowl of moon's core, and a baby boa, (speak parseltounge to get the scale and venom!) And you've got to put it in boiling water. The boa's venom in first! Stirr it untill it turns into a sickly green and a shadowy purple. And throw the other ingredients in! Does it turn into the most black?.. WHAT?? Can sombody feed it to Harry?! I see he's almost dying!! .·´¯`( >▂< )´¯`·.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! Thank you for sending your composition today. This is really fascinating. Can we eat this food? Why does it have snake scale and venom? Anyways, it is good that you you have a wide imagination. We will talk more about this in class. I will see you then. Take care! ~ T. Lyn
Hi, dears! 
>>Correct. Hello everyone!
My name is Parseltounge Slytherin. 
>>Correct.
Oh, yes people who've read Harry Potter would think of me as a desendant of Salazar Slytherin but I'm an ancestor of him, my dears.
>>Oh yes, people who have read Harry Potter think I'm a descendant of Salazar Slytherin but I'm his ancestor.
Never imagined Harry would be real? 
>>Have you ever imagined that Harry Potter could be real?
I see. 
>>Correct.
He's living with Ginny right now. 
>>Correct.
Oh that brave little boy, Harry. 
>>Correct.
He fought off Voldemort himself! 
>>He fought Voldemort himself!
Oh my gosh, sorry dears, I forgot what I was about to say! 
>>Correct. Oh my gosh, forgive me that I forgot to tell you.
This potion is called 'Retrieving Lives' Potion. 
>>This potion is called a "Life Recovery" portion.
But! only a parseltounge like me should be able to make it. 
>>But only Parseltounge like me should be able to make it.
Ah, let see, we've to get 7 snake scales, a bowl of the new invisible moon's core, and a boa baby's weak venom.
>>Ah, let's see, you will need to get seven snake scales, a bowl of invisible new moon corem and a weak venom from a boa baby.
We have 6 scales and a bowl of moon's core, and a baby boa, (speak parseltounge to get the scale and venom!) 
>>There are six scales, a bowl of moon coresm and a baby boa.
And you've got to put it in boiling water. 
>>You need to put them in a boiling water.
The boa's venom in first! 
>>Put the baby boa's venom first.
Stirr it untill it turns into a sickly green and a shadowy purple.
>>Stir it until it turns stickly green and shadowy purple.
And throw the other ingredients in! 
>>Correct. Put the rest of the ingredients in it.
Does it turn into the most black?.. 
>>Does the liquid turn black?
WHAT?? Can sombody feed it to Harry?!
>>"What?" Can someone feed the liquid to Harry?
I see he's almost dying!!
>>I see, Harry is going to die.
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