¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

3.16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¸²
2023-03-16 1150

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For domestic is I want to recommend Busan and jeju island.
That¡¯s why I like sea. And with my friend drink on the sand by the sea it is very romantic.
And that place is famous for tourist. So that places is develop for tour. So it is very convince if it is first time to visit.
And for abroad I recommend Thailand. Because it is famous tour country, and it is very comfortable. Thai massage is famous too. And also there is many pub. So if I want to enjoy travel, I can use that store.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Ye Lim!
Thanks for doing your best in writing your homework! 
That sound very interesting! I hope you can travel again soon!
Anyway, have a great weekend!  
-T.Jhozel 
For domestic is I want to recommend Busan and jeju island.
>> Correct!
OR: I recommend Busan and Jeju Island for domestic travel.
That¡¯s why I like sea. And with my friend drink on the sand by the sea it is very romantic.
>>That's why I enjoy the sea. And having a drink on the sand by the sea with a friend is very romantic.
And that place is famous for tourist. So that places is develop for tour. 
>> And the place is well-known among tourists. So, those locations are being developed for tours. 
So it is very convince if it is first time to visit.
>> So it is very convincing if this is your first visit.
And for abroad I recommend Thailand. Because it is famous tour country, and it is very comfortable. 
>>In terms of travel abroad, I recommend Thailand. Because it is a popular tourist destination and is very comfortable.
Thai massage is famous too. And also there is many pub. So if I want to enjoy travel, I can use that store.
>>Thai massage is also popular. There are also a lot of pubs. So if I want to travel, I can go to that store.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129067 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3887
129066 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3421
129065 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129064 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3616
129063 How can you say that a country has a good leader? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 0
129062 Do you leave confidential information in a voice mail? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129061 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2561
129060 Who is the person you admire the most? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 4569
129059 Should cell phones be allowed at school? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 3949
129058 Night¡¯s sleep Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 4039
129057 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 3818
129056 HOMEWORK1 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129055 Writing Task 0623 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129054 Are you a health-conscious person? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129053 Which among your goals have you already achived? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2324
129052 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2098
129051 What is your favorite color? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2245
129050 Homework 6/23 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129049 Who is the most inspiring athlete you know? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129048 My favorite song ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-24 2490

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04