¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-16 1949

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
Megan is watching to me, though.
After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Kids are full of energy!Physiologically, they get more oxygen, so they have more energy. Because they breathe more easily, they also release the stress and tension that they need to (toxins and stress are released through the breath). With less stress in their system, they have more energy.The energy we rely on every day comes from one of these sources, and while some may be better than others, it is always best to avoid unnecessary use by getting mad easily or doing bad habits. 

Mistakes at work happen all the time. No matter how experienced you may be, it is inevitable that a mistake or two will crop up at some point in your career. Some of these work mistakes can be much more severe than others, but they all reflect on you, your professionalism, and your performance as a boss. Work smarter, not harder. It¡¯s something that¡¯s very often repeated and is absolutely true within the workplace. Dr. MJ knows this a much as you do.

So, thank you for your valuable time and effort in writing this composition. I always notice how you use new expressions to level up your writing and vocabulary skills. Please read my suggestions intently.

Best of luck and cheers to a busy and a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Now, I am with my last daughter, Megan.
>> Correct!

As you know that, she is a little girl and so cute.
>> As you know it, she is a little girl and so cute.

Around 30 minutes ago, I played some board games with her, because she really wanted it.
>> Correct!

Now it's the time for my kids to take a shower.
>> Correct!

Megan is watching to me, though.
>> Megan is watching me though.

After a long time, I spent some of my time to play with my little girl, and it made me happy.
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, there was no special event at all.
>> Correct!

Of course, there was a moment to get me stressed, but it was just a short time.
>> Of course, there was a moment that got me stressed, but it was just a short time.

As usual, I longed for some alcohol, but I had to be satisfied with a grilled pork that my wife prepared for me.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got a hang of my work somewhat.
>> Anyway, I am tired as the other days, but I think that I got the hang of my work somewhat./ Very good sentence!

Lately, with the laser, I removed hairs of other site which the client didn't want to do.
>> Lately, with laser, I removed hairs of another site which the client didn't want to.

It was not a serious problem, but I realized that I had a bad condition than ever at that time.
>> Correct!

I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I always should be careful.
>> Correct!
Or: I am a doctor, and my mistake can hurt people, so I should always be careful.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124892 What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling alone? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1379
124891 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 2
124890 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1
124889 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 3
124888 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 0
124887 I have very expnsive nintendo ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 3
124886 No ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 0
124885 The reason why and what can we do for people who are not active... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1531
124884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1
124883 Worst restaurant ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1455
124882 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 0
124881 Is good teamwork essential to the kind of work you do? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 1
124880 Is it easy for you to commute going to your workplace? What are... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 2
124879 weekend routine ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 996
124878 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 962
124877 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 1079
124876 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 1183
124875 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 1125
124874 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 1222
124873 Who is your life mentor and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 1013

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04