¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

future education

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Áö*¼Ö
2023-03-19 1622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
I think creativity and teamwork are moost important things to live our life.
So I think korean education must focus on these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Min Sol!
I commend you for the time and effort you spent writing this despite your busy schedule. Thank you and keep up the good job!
~~Teacher Kate 

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
>>I think Future education should emphasize on creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
>>In Korea, private tutors and academies are common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
>>And they always aim for universities in Seoul. 
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
>>They always compete with friends about their grades and feel stressed.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
>>I think good grades are not the only important thing. 
I think creativity and teamwork are most important things to live our life.
>>I think creativity and teamwork are the most important things to live our life.
So I think Korean education must focus on these things.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124871 If you were a fashion item, what would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2
124870 Write a short essay about students and use the vocabulary words... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 5
124869 How would you react if your friend told you that your boyfriend... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2
124868 I am ¡®house and home¡¯ person ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1423
124867 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1572
124866 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2638
124865 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1235
124864 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1288
124863 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1308
124862 Where would you like to go on vacation? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1248
124861 What is the greatest challenge you have faced this month? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1503
124860 Answer : What was a good decision you made in the past? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1316
124859 What is the impact of movies in our life? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1194
124858 Life without music¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1128
124857 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124856 Can you tell me about a strange dream you had? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124855 How much do you value your time? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1528
124854 Can you talk about three things you want to do this year? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124853 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1309
124852 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04