¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

future education

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Áö*¼Ö
2023-03-19 1379

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
I think creativity and teamwork are moost important things to live our life.
So I think korean education must focus on these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Min Sol!
I commend you for the time and effort you spent writing this despite your busy schedule. Thank you and keep up the good job!
~~Teacher Kate 

I think Future education should emphasize creativity and teamwork.
>>I think Future education should emphasize on creativity and teamwork.
In korea, private tutor and academy is common for students.
>>In Korea, private tutors and academies are common for students.
And they always try to go to the university in seoul.
>>And they always aim for universities in Seoul. 
They always fight their friends about their grade and feel stress.
>>They always compete with friends about their grades and feel stressed.
I think that important thing is not good grade.
>>I think good grades are not the only important thing. 
I think creativity and teamwork are most important things to live our life.
>>I think creativity and teamwork are the most important things to live our life.
So I think Korean education must focus on these things.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128751 My father¡¯s lesson ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1925
128750 Which is more important to you, music or TV? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128749 What is the best act of kindness that you can show/give to a... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 2
128748 homework 06.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2370
128747 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128746 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128745 What are some ways that artificial intelligence could be used to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 4
128744 My favorite movie ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1965
128743 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1553
128742 What is your favorite month and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2171
128741 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2302
128740 6/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 3315
128739 When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1334
128738 Rock and roll!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1254
128737 What house chores do you do? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128736 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2474
128735 How much money do you think a grade schooler should receive as... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2057
128734 Why do you think it\'s easier to have bad habits than good ones? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1797
128733 Have you ever thought of giving up your holiday due to... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2198
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04