¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-03-20 1310

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South_Korea these days.
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille



There are so many kind of drinks at the convenience store or grocery story.
>> There are so many kinds of drinks at the convenience store or grocery store.
Among them, I introduce a drink that is popular in South Korea these days.
>> CORRECT!
These days, zero calorie drinks are the most popular in Korea.
>> CORRECT!
So, many kind of drinks were released, like diet coke.
>> So, many kinds of drinks were released, like diet coke.
There are reduce calories by adding seasoning instead of sugar.
>> There are drinks with reduced calories because they add seasoning instead of sugar.
It's not complete zero calories, but It's become popular because
it is low in calories. 
>> It's not completely zero calories, but it has become popular because it is low in calories. 
For example, low calorie foods are also popular these days.
>> CORRECT!
The trend started because of people want to eat food, but they are worried about
High-calories.
>> The trend started because of people who want to eat food, but they are worried about High-calories.
So, low-calories food and drinks are trending in Korea.
>>  So, low-calorie food and drinks are trending in Korea.
OR >> So, food and drinks with low calories are a trend in Korea.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126027 My trip ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126026 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126025 Do you think change is important in people\'s life? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126024 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126023 My opinion regarding bullying ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1626
126022 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126021 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1595
126020 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1333
126019 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1253
126018 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1268
126017 Young people these days, do not enjoy family gatherings. What do... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1323
126016 I sometimes make food. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 96
126015 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1101
126012 Go back ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1221

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04