무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Are you impressed by the current advancements in the medical field? Or do you think they could do be

작성자: 이*아
2023-03-20 1653

회원님의 영작문

I was impressed with cancer treatment's current advancements in the medical field. In fact, billions of people have suffered cancer in recent years. Even though there are a lot of people who have a hard time because of cancer, we could see that patients are decreasing compared to the last few years. Here is the evidence. According to the Cancer Center, "more than 80% of people diagnosed with cancer types which are easier to diagnose and/or treat survive"(Cancer Center, 2022). People are usually afraid to get cancer because they believe cancer is the cruelest and most fatal disease in the world. But that rate makes people feel much more comfortable with cancer, in addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. But whether cancer treatment develops, it should be developed more than now. Because there is still some cancer that is hard to fully recover from. Especially, only 12.8% of people can recover from brain cancer. Better quality of medical treatment can make better society

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great choice of topic, Su A!  I also wanted to hear from you about cancer since it is quite controversial. Some people have even theorized that perhaps the medical field is purposefully hiding treatments for cancer to prevent hospitals from losing profit.  I haven't heard about the report from Cancer Center, so it was a nice piece of information to add there. Your readers would have gained new knowledge from reading your essay.  You also ended it on a realistic note, that while cancer has taken a lot of steps forward for the better, it doesn't promise us complete recovery just yet. Thank you! 
~T.Harmony <3

I was impressed with cancer treatment's current advancements in the medical field.
>> CORRECT!
In fact, billions of people have suffered cancer in recent years. 
>> ...billions of people have suffered from cancer...
Even though there are a lot of people who have a hard time because of cancer, we could see that patients are decreasing compared to the last few years. 
>> CORRECT!
Here is the evidence. 
>> CORRECT!
According to the Cancer Center, "more than 80% of people diagnosed with cancer types which are easier to diagnose and/or treat survive"(Cancer Center, 2022). 
>> CORRECT!
People are usually afraid to get cancer because they believe cancer is the cruelest and most fatal disease in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> People often fear being diagnosed of cancer because they think of it as incurable and highly fatal.
But that rate makes people feel much more comfortable with cancer, in addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. 
>> However, the percentage reported by Cancer Center in 2022 makes people feel much more at ease with cancer. In addition, it shows cancer treatment has developed a lot. 
But whether cancer treatment develops, it should be developed more than now. 
>> CORRECT!
Because there is still some cancer that is hard to fully recover from. 
>> ...still some types of cancer...
Especially, only 12.8% of people can recover from brain cancer. 
>> In particular, ...
Better quality of medical treatment can make better society
>> ...can make a better society.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... 박*준 완료 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food 김*율 완료 2023-02-27 1210
126012 Go back 권*일 완료 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. 임*호 완료 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 이*훈 완료 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... 김*진 완료 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. 김*님 완료 2023-02-27 1410
126007 The one thing I want to change 양*연 완료 2023-02-26 1904
126006 Do you think animal testing should be banned? Why or why not? 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 2187
126005 Describe the biggest surprise you have ever had in your life. 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 1371
126004 Do you really need to have a college education to be successful?... 구*우 완료 2023-02-26 1314
126003 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-02-26 1320
126002 Who do you think is responsible for lost parcels? The... 양*은 완료 2023-02-26 1523
126001 What do you like the most about that holiday? 박*우 완료 2023-02-26 1583
126000 Homework 이*경 완료 2023-02-26 1937
125999 Homework 이*경 완료 2023-02-26 1740
125998 [Writing Task] What things do you always need to bring when you... 박*준 완료 2023-02-25 1
125997 i had some bed storys:) 윤*혜 완료 2023-02-25 5
125996 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? 신*섭 완료 2023-02-25 1462
125995 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? 신*섭 완료 2023-02-25 1458

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]