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영작교정 게시판

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How would you define success? At what point in your life would you say you are successful?

작성자: 송*빈
2023-03-21 1570

회원님의 영작문

Every people want to be successful. However, the standard of success is extremely different: money, honor, promising job; it depends on the worth they pursue.
If I define success, there are two factors: inner and external success. Firstly, inner success is enjoying my job.
When I achieve it, I can have self-confidence based on my ability as a designer, and feel enjoyment while working. In other words, inner success is a positive mind of myself and my work.
On the other hand, external success is slightly different, which is much more direct and other people can also see it. It is that many people know my company's design. After graduating and experiencing working in various design companies, I desire to establish my own design company. I will make my own idea of design and let a lot of people it. Based on this idea, I want to work with other designers in this company.
In summary, the success I consider is completely correlated with my work.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Su Bin! Keep them coming. :D

Every people want to be successful. 
>>>>  Every person wants to be successful.  
>>>> OR: All people want to be successful.
However, the standard of success is extremely different: money, honor, promising job; it depends on the worth they pursue.
>>>> correct   
If I define success, there are two factors: inner and external success. 
>>>> correct
>>>>  OR: If I am to define success, there would be two factors: inner and external success. 
Firstly, inner success is enjoying my job.
>>>>  correct  
When I achieve it, I can have self-confidence based on my ability as a designer, and feel enjoyment while working. 
>>>>  correct  
In other words, inner success is a positive mind of myself and my work.
>>>>   correct 
On the other hand, external success is slightly different, which is much more direct and other people can also see it. 
>>>>   correct 
It is that many people know my company's design.
>>>>   correct  
After graduating and experiencing working in various design companies, I desire to establish my own design company. 
>>>>   correct  
I will make my own idea of design and let a lot of people it. 
>>>> I will make my own idea of design and make a lot of people like it.    
Based on this idea, I want to work with other designers in this company.
>>>>  correct    
In summary, the success I consider is completely correlated with my work.
>>>>  As a summary, the success I consider is completely correlated with my work. 
>>>> OR: To sum it all up, the success I consider is completely correlated with my work.
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