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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-21 2171

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
It's almost midnight.
I arrived at home just 30 minutes ago.
That's because I worked until 9 o'clock in the clinic after the work and then I met some of my friends in the restaurant.
They are older than me, and one of them is a dentist who will start his clinic in the fifth floor of our building.
The other one is his best friend and he works in the entertainment related company.
They are so close since they met each other around 20 years ago.
Anyway, there was nothing special in the clinic today.
Oh, one of our staff resigned, but we expected that before.
Do you remember our old aged manager?
She made several mistakes today, and Dr. MJ got mad about it.
That's why I encouraged her.
Besides of her, I encouraged many staff during the vacant time of work.
We truely lack of our staff, so most staff are getting tired so easily these days.
To learn a new thing, we have to get interest about it first.
And, to get the hang of it, we should do it repeatedly.
I've got to sleep. Bye.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

Exposure to new people creates opportunities to meet new friends. Friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being. They prevent isolation and loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. I hope you gained some insights from the other doctor friends you met yesterday.

Giving advice to employees as a supervisor can have a positive impact on productivity and employee confidence. Your advice can help guide employees through challenges and provide a new perspective on career options, production methods or personal strengths. Dr. MJ should somehow learn to do this as well. Motivating your employees and making them feel like a part of the team is a vital process in securing your company's success. Their level of faith, commitment and drive can not be bought or learned. It has to come organically, from a workplace that cherishes freedom and self-growth.

Learning keeps your mind engaged and body active. It helps you get new and knowledge-based perspectives on the world around you. It helps you gain new experiences, trains your brain to handle a wide range of challenges, and keeps your neural pathways active. So, we should never stop learning as long as we live.

Your grammar was powerful as evident on many correct sentences. Your transitions were so smoothe and there is always something new in the way you say things in your composition. Keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

It's almost midnight.
>> Correct!

I arrived at home just 30 minutes ago.
>> Correct!

That's because I worked until 9 o'clock in the clinic after the work and then I met some of my friends in the restaurant.
>>  That's because I worked until 9 o'clock in the clinic, then after work , I met some of my friends in the restaurant.

They are older than me, and one of them is a dentist who will start his clinic in the fifth floor of our building.
>> Correct!

The other one is his best friend and he works in the entertainment related company.
>> Correct!

They are so close since they met each other around 20 years ago.
>> Correct!

Anyway, there was nothing special in the clinic today.
>> Correct!

Oh, one of our staff resigned, but we expected that before.
>> Correct!

Do you remember our old aged manager?
>> Correct!

She made several mistakes today, and Dr. MJ got mad about it.
>> Correct!

That's why I encouraged her.
>> Correct!

Besides of her, I encouraged many staff during the vacant time of work.
>> Besides her, I encouraged many staff during the vacant time of work.

We truely lack of our staff, so most staff are getting tired so easily these days.
>> We truely lack our staff, so most staff are getting tired so easily these days.

To learn a new thing, we have to get interest about it first.
>> To learn a new thing, we have to get interested about it first.

And, to get the hang of it, we should do it repeatedly.
>> Correct!

I've got to sleep. Bye.
>> Correct!
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