¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-03-26 1593

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm on innocent civilians. Every day, hours, minutes¡¦ Every moment the earth is going to collapse. A lot of countries have been suffering from natural disasters. The world will no longer exist. At this point, no one may deny this fact. So what? We need to find the solution to survive, which is these rocket launches. Of course, innocent civilians will suffer the cost of accidents. But we need to do something to prepare for the future. There is one feature that people who succeed in their life, which is scarification; also means effort. Peter the Great of Russia expanded his territory by scarifying his empire and citizens; so Russia became the strongest empire then. This is what I mean. Someone must sacrifice and show a huge effort to develop, improve, and succeed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A near perfectly written composition essay, Su A!  It was convincing, and props to you for using a moment from history as an example. As for my suggestion, when you implied that civilians will certainly suffer, it would be nice if you mentioned that improvements for these rocket launches, if they are to continue, should also consider to ensure that few to no civilians should be hurt. I think your readers would appreciate that feeling of reassurance.  I'm curious if you knew about Peter the Great of Russia from books you've read in the past? If so, it goes to show that reading books can go a long way and take you far. You'll never run out of things to say when you read books.  
~T.Harmony <3

I believe we should continue these rocket launches at the cost of accidents that can inflict harm on innocent civilians. 
>> CORRECT!
Every day, hours, minutes¡¦ Every moment the earth is going to collapse. 
>> Every day, every hour, every minute... Every moment, there is a huge possibility that the earth might collapse.
A lot of countries have been suffering from natural disasters. 
>> CORRECT!
The world will no longer exist.
>> CORRECT!
At this point, no one may deny this fact. 
>> CORRECT!
So what? We need to find the solution to survive, which is these rocket launches. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, innocent civilians will suffer the cost of accidents. 
>> CORRECT!
But we need to do something to prepare for the future. 
>> CORRECT!
There is one feature that people who succeed in their life, which is scarification; also means effort. 
>> ...feature used by people who have succeeded in their lives, which is scarification; also means effort.
Peter the Great of Russia expanded his territory by scarifying his empire and citizens; so Russia became the strongest empire then. 
>> CORRECT!
This is what I mean. 
>> CORRECT!
Someone must sacrifice and show a huge effort to develop, improve, and succeed.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124783 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1433
124782 What do you think is the most important quality for a customer... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 3
124781 What is the difference between complaining and nagging? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 3
124780 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 0
124779 About my online business ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 3
124778 Stress ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1256
124777 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1
124776 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1296
124775 If a certain information that you heard were true, what would... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1438
124774 My opinion of main causes of jealousy ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1357
124773 Blood donation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1
124772 2023.1.11 À±*ÈÆ ÁøÇàÁß 2023-01-11 0
124771 Are you nervous when you are introduced to someone new? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1090
124770 10.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 2
124769 Which home appliance do you use a lot? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1
124768 Who is a good politician in South Korea? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 1
124767 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-11 7
124766 Morals or money? Which one would you choose? Explain. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 1402
124765 Which do you think is better, reading manga or watching anime? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 1356
124764 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-10 1397

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04