¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think air pollution will be a bigger issue ten years from now or not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-03-26 1507

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. We must seriously think about this issue. The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. This is the cause of global warming. Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. We must go back to the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You did well adding a lot of factual information in your essay, Su A!  You made a good point about air pollution being a major issue that we've already been facing nowadays. Including a variety of statistics in your essay helps educate your readers to become more aware about the problems brought by global warming. As for my suggestion, you can also end your essay with words of encouragement that will motivate and inspire your readers to contribute to the efforts being made to lessen the destruction of air pollution. ^^ Thank you, Su A! 
~T.Harmony <3

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! 
>> CORRECT!
Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. 
>> CORRECT!
We must seriously think about this issue. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must take this issue seriously and ponder on it.
The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. 
>> In particular, the weather that...
This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. 
>> CORRECT!
But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...which has become weaker and thinner.
So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. 
>> ..., and the Earth has been suffering from strong heatwaves.
This is the cause of global warming. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> This is the consequence of global warming.
Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. 
>> CORRECT!
This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. 
>> CORRECT!
We must go back to the past.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must return to the past.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128280 My country!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2070
128279 Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2335
128278 Homework for 05/17 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 3
128277 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 0
128276 What do you do to help your mom do some house chores? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2
128275 Is having a positive thinking really important? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128274 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2047
128273 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 0
128272 How do you order food in English? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2923
128271 Food I\'ve never tried ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2571
128270 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2656
128269 Diary20230517(part2) Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2014
128268 Diary20230517(part1) Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2425
128267 It\'s nice to see you again, too. Harmony~! Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2787
128266 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2512
128265 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128264 May.17 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2336
128263 Because of my job, it is cancer. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128262 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128261 sharenting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 3339

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04