¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

When do you say that a person is overexercising?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½½
2023-03-28 1178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Although It is quiet ambigous criterion to judge whether over-excercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the excercising.
For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexcercising when i am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.
This pain makes me hard to climbing a stair and walking so it give a lots of burden for my daily life.
Therefore it is very important to confirm a one's work out level and set a proper objective of excercise :-)(I realized this time haha).
Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the excercise since we lose some calories during workout.
Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next excercise on thursday or friday :-)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kate!
Thank you for this composition and I am impressed with how you have used your vocabulary.  So for this composition, I am just rewriting and providing you with tiny corrections, especially on spelling and punctuation. In general, you did a wonderful job!
Enjoy the rest of the day!
Aki~
 
Although It is quiet ambigous criterion to judge whether over-excercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the excercising.
>>> Although It is quite an ambiguous criterion to judge whether over-exercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the exercise.

For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexcercising when i am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.
>>>  For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexercising when I am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.

This pain makes me hard to climbing a stair and walking so it give a lots of burden for my daily life.
>>>  This pain makes me hard to climb a stair and walk so it gives me a lot of burden on my daily life.

Therefore it is very important to confirm a one's work out level and set a proper objective of excercise :-)(I realized this time haha).
>>>  Therefore it is very important to confirm one's workout level and set a proper objective for exercise.

Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the excercise since we lose some calories during workout.
>>>  Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the exercise since we lose some calories during the workout

Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next excercise on thursday or friday :-)
>>> Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next exercise on Thursday or Friday 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129019 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2097
129018 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2526
129017 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1812
129016 Should people get limited access to the Internet? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1
129015 Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1520
129014 Writing Task 0619 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1
129013 Home work ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1928
129012 What kind of art do you like the most? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1058
129011 When did you last say that you¡¯re sorry? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2011
129010 What are the common gadgets used by children these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2325
129009 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1745
129008 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1
129007 The best part of my day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 0
129006 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 0
129005 My favorite movie ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1527
129004 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2
129003 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 0
129002 What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting rather than... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 2761
129001 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1275
129000 I would recommend Korea to foreigners. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-22 1730

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04