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Is it worth to study abroad?

작성자: 조*인
2023-04-12 1790

회원님의 영작문

I think it is worth to study abroad.

Most of all, studying in foreign country makes people open minded. When people study abroad they should make friends from varies cultures; on the other hand, who study in their native don’t have to make friends from other country. Making foreign friends improves their tolerance for other people’s culture. For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn’t understand wester people’s love culture. She though that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect. However, She is changed little by little after she had got date with a guy from US who is met during she is in France as a collage student. They understood each other’s different culture of love through their relationship and they can learned positive aspects of each other’s culture. Now she can embrace their date style. If she did not go to abroad for study, she can not meet her x-boyfriend and she can not understand wester people’s relationship culture forever.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your homework, Jessica!

Just keep going and you'll be great!

-Hanna ^^

I think it is worth to study abroad.

>>I think it is worth it to study abroad.
Most of all, studying in foreign country makes people open minded. 

>>Most of all, studying in a foreign country makes people become open minded.

When people study abroad they should make friends from varies cultures; on the other hand, who study in their native don’t have to make friends from other country. 

>>When people study abroad, they should make friends from various cultures; on the other hand, those who study their native language doesn't have to make friends from other countries.

Making foreign friends improves their tolerance for other people’s culture. 

>>Making foreign friends improve their tolerance on other people's culture.

For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn’t understand wester people’s love culture. 

>>For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn't understand western people's love culture.

She though that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect. 

>>She thought that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect.

However, She is changed little by little after she had got date with a guy from US who is met during she is in France as a collage student. 

>>However, she has changed little by little after she dated a guy from the U.S. who whom she met in France as a college student.

They understood each other’s different culture of love through their relationship and they can learned positive aspects of each other’s culture. 

>>They understood each other's different culture of love through their relationship and they learned some positive aspects of each other's culture.

Now she can embrace their date style. 

>>Correct.

If she did not go to abroad for study, she can not meet her x-boyfriend and she can not understand wester people’s relationship culture forever.

>>If she did not go abroad to study, she wouldn't meet her ex-boyfriend and she wouldn't understand western people's relationship culture forever.
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