¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a student¡¯s bullying records should reflect in university admissions and job appli

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-04-17 2730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
>> It can be one of the measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. 
>> School bullying became a serious social problem in Korea. 
We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
>> We can easily see news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
>> It has been disclosed by victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. 
>> Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared about their pain. 
They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. 
>> They were shocked after watching TV or media which showed school bullying offenders. 
It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. 
>> CORRECT!
As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129981 Getting enough sleep helps heal your body from any pain or... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 5150
129980 What are the advantages and disdvantages of wacthing the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 5863
129979 What do you like best about camping? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 3
129978 Answer the following questions in full sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3682
129977 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4406
129976 What do you do when you feel anxious about something? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2
129975 homework 08.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3762
129974 Choose one that you like chocolate, ice cream or candies why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3610
129973 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4179
129972 How can pets contribute to the overall well-being and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 5564
129971 How do you conserve energy? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3635
129970 What are some ways in saving the earth? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4931
129969 My personality with some adjectives. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4473
129968 What kind of self-defense do you know? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3920
129967 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: When do you prefer having a family... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3171
129966 The importance of team work ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4387
129965 What makes you happy? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4264
129964 Today(8/4) absence ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 0
129963 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4230
129962 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 4739

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04