¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a student¡¯s bullying records should reflect in university admissions and job appli

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-04-17 2641

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
>> It can be one of the measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. 
>> School bullying became a serious social problem in Korea. 
We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
>> We can easily see news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
>> It has been disclosed by victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. 
>> Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared about their pain. 
They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. 
>> They were shocked after watching TV or media which showed school bullying offenders. 
It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. 
>> CORRECT!
As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129076 They agree with me. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 4022
129075 writing exercise ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3743
129074 How does organization and decluttering contribute to a peaceful... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129073 season food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129072 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 4916
129071 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 4364
129070   If you could have it your way, how would you like to... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3532
129069 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 2805
129068 What kind of second job do you want to have? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 4508
129067 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3996
129066 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3485
129065 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 1
129064 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 3687
129063 How can you say that a country has a good leader? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-26 0
129062 Do you leave confidential information in a voice mail? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129061 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2671
129060 Who is the person you admire the most? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 4736
129059 Should cell phones be allowed at school? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 4067
129058 Night¡¯s sleep Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 4099
129057 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 3936

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04