¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Prepare crew response

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2023-04-19 1371

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

question-Advertise your hometown, please

Me-
I was born in busan. it is located in the southeastern part of korea. it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.
It is a beautiful city by the sea.
Busan people are full of energy.
Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.

(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tia,

You did a good job on your homework. A hometown is a place where you have lived your childhood and youth. It's important to always keep in mind what your hometown has taught you and how you were raised in such a beautiful place. We should write an essay in such a way that the readers are influenced by the article and are interested in visiting your hometown. So, it's okay if you said a lot of positive things about Busan. ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

question-Advertise your hometown, please
>>Describe your hometown.
Me-

>>Here is my answer.
I was born in busan.

>> I was born in Busan.

it is located in the southeastern part of korea.

>> It is located in the South Eastern part of Korea.

it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.

>> It takes about 4 hours by car from Seoul.

It is a beautiful city by the sea.

>>CORRECT

Busan people are full of energy.

>>CORRECT

OR>> The people of Busan are full of energy.

Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.

>>CORRECT
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.

>>CORRECT
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.
>>CORRECT
(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127494 Do you enjoy traveling? Where and Why? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127493 HOMRWORK (REVIEW) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127492 People live differently. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1593
127491 How China¡¯s end of zero-COVID restrictions affects to the world? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127490 4.14 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1468
127489 dinner ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1356
127488 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1712
127487 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1427
127486 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1487
127485 What is something you know you do differently than most people? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127484 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1
127483 homework 04.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1476
127482 What was the best thing about your childhood? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1753
127481 How many seasons are there in your country? Which is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 0
127480 What\'s your thought on socialism? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 4
127479 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 7
127478 Can social media be educational? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 3
127477 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1128
127476 Do you believe in fortune tellers?/What other superstitions are... ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 2
127475 4.14 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-14 1907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04