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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

If a person is attacked by an animal and left with serious injuries, should we immediately put to de

작성자: 이*아
2023-04-25 2012

회원님의 영작문

Absolutely, no. It is unnecessary to immediately kill the individual animal that made the attack. In most cases, it is better to investigate the situation to determine whether the animal was acting out of fear or aggression. One difference between humans and animals is speaking. Humans can easily express their emotions by using language, and show their feelings with their body functions, such as speaking, acting, etc. However, animals can't express their emotions by using language that humans use. Usually, animals don't attack people without a reason, whether that reason is acknowledgeable or not. Attacking will be one of the ways to show animals' feelings, and we should have an attitude to understand their action, feel the same way, and conceal the difference.

(And also when we try to kill animals just because of animals' attack, humans should(MUST) die for the same reason. Wild animals are less wilder than humans' cruelty.)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great perspective, Su A! You made persuasive points, especially with regards to investigating on the reason behind the attack. Was the animal provoked, hence the attack? It is easy to blame it on the innate nature of animals, specifically wild ones, but we should not neglect other looming possibilities behind it. I really like this essay that you've written. It was well thought out and explained in a simple yet organized manner. Excellent! 
~T.Harmony <3

Absolutely, no. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> Absolutely not.
It is unnecessary to immediately kill the individual animal that made the attack. 
>> CORRECT!
In most cases, it is better to investigate the situation to determine whether the animal was acting out of fear or aggression. 
>> CORRECT!
One difference between humans and animals is speaking. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...is the ability to speak.
Humans can easily express their emotions by using language, and show their feelings with their body functions, such as speaking, acting, etc.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...convey their feelings through body languages, such as...
However, animals can't express their emotions by using language that humans use. 
>> ...by speaking the languages used by humans.
Usually, animals don't attack people without a reason, whether that reason is acknowledgeable or not. 
>> CORRECT!
Attacking will be one of the ways to show animals' feelings, and we should have an attitude to understand their action, feel the same way, and conceal the difference.
>> ...and we should be considerate of their actions, empathize with them, and determine the cause.

(And also when we try to kill animals just because of animals' attack, humans should(MUST) die for the same reason. Wild animals are less wilder than humans' cruelty.)
>> ...Wild animals are less wild than...
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