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Do you think it\'s necessary to be aware of the news and current events?

작성자: 김*원
2023-05-09 1670

회원님의 영작문

Do you think it's necessary to be aware of the news and current events?

I think people must know of the news. always society an event occurs. such as murder incidence, traffic incidence, hate crime, labor problem, diplomacy events. These events have unfair. So, we must know that problem, that could be my situation. For example, recently, in Korea has many drunken driving incidences. The perpetrators are very drunken, but they are driving car on protect the children area and hit a child with a car. So, victim child seriously injured or dead. But law is very unfair. So, perpetrators are commuted for many reasons. Victim family suffer from unfair judgement. almost, Society stands on the side of power. But minority person of the against power, they always effort for justice. Thus, we must know the news of the unfair or many corruptions, for minority person of the against power and many of victims.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Hyo Won! Justice is definitely in the side of the rich and powerful. That is a sad reality we live in.

I think people must know of the news. 
>>>  OR: I think people must be aware/informed of the news.
always society an event occurs. such as murder incidence, traffic incidence, hate crime, labor problem, diplomacy events. 
>>> An event always occurs in the society such as murder incidence, traffic accidents, hate crime, labor problem, diplomacy events. 
These events have unfair. So, we must know that problem, that could be my situation. 
>>>  These events have injustice so we must know that problem because that could someday be our situation. 
For example, recently, in Korea has many drunken driving incidences. 
>>>  For example, in Korea, there has recently been many drunk and driving incidents. 
The perpetrators are very drunken, but they are driving car on protect the children area and hit a child with a car. 
>>>  The perpetrators are very drunk, but they are driving the car on a children friendly area and hit a child with the car. 
So, victim child seriously injured or dead. 
>>> So, the child victim is seriously injured or dies. 
But law is very unfair. 
>>> But the law is unfair. 
So, perpetrators are commuted for many reasons. 
>>>  So, perpetrators are exculpated for many reasons. 
Victim family suffer from unfair judgement. 
>>>  The victim's family suffer from an unfair judgement.
almost, Society stands on the side of power. 
>>> In most cases, society stands on the side of power.  
But minority person of the against power, they always effort for justice. 
>>>  But minority people who have no power always put great efforts for justice. 
Thus, we must know the news of the unfair or many corruptions, for minority person of the against power and many of victims.
>>>  Thus, we must know the news on injustice or many corruptions, for minority person of no power and many of victims.
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