¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-26 3039

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. Especially being sick, I depend on my family. Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. They cook soup and wipe me up. The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin! 
Great job with your composition. You are right, when we are sick, we tend to depend on others and these are the times we appreciate are families more.
-T. Caitlyn
I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. 
>> CORRECT
Especially being sick, I depend on my family.
>> CORRECT
Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. 
>> Also, my family takes care of me with all their hearts.
They cook soup and wipe me up. 
>> CORRECT
The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131769 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131768 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131767 What was the last food you ordered at McDonalds? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131766 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 5380
131765 Decision I wish I never made ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 5462
131764 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131763 What I do to stay healthy ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131762 My Favorite sport ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131761 What are the benefits of eating out? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 3681
131760 Do you have any sentimental or special clothing items with... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 3548
131759 homework_231018 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 3909
131758 231017- Homework ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131757 Migrate country ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 4154
131756 Is there anything you want your country to turn into a crime or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131755 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2752
131754 Before I go to bed °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2
131753 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 4684
131752 homework 10.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 4845
131751 Home ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 0
131750 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 4379

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04