¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-26 2122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. Especially being sick, I depend on my family. Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. They cook soup and wipe me up. The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin! 
Great job with your composition. You are right, when we are sick, we tend to depend on others and these are the times we appreciate are families more.
-T. Caitlyn
I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. 
>> CORRECT
Especially being sick, I depend on my family.
>> CORRECT
Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. 
>> Also, my family takes care of me with all their hearts.
They cook soup and wipe me up. 
>> CORRECT
The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128581 How do you handle conflicts or disagreements? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2215
128580 How do you keep in touch with friends or family who live away? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1541
128579 6/1 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2750
128578 War ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2056
128577 ¼÷Á¦, ¿¡¼¼ÀÌ ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128576 homework 05.31 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 3427
128575 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 0
128574 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2140
128573 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 0
128572 E-sport is big field nowadays. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128571 Why is it difficult to eradicate slavery? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 5
128570 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2162
128569 Comfort ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128568 Homework 5/31 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128567 Household chores that I¡¯ve been doing ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2088
128566 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2207
128565 What do you think of North Korea? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 0
128564 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2460
128563 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1946
128562 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1929

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04