¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-29 2178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the old age is the life of freedom. I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. However I think we cannot play something active. Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. There is no friend and children near me. I will be needy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin.
You are right. There is more freedom as we get older but the things we can become limited as well. Great job by the way with your homework, you did great with your sentences.
-T. Caitlyn
I think the old age is the life of freedom. 
>> CORRECT
I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. 
>> CORRECT
However I think we cannot play something active. 
>> However, I think we cannot play something active. 
Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
>> Elders can only do static hobbies such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. 
>> CORRECT
There is no friend and children near me. 
>> CORRECT
I will be needy.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129361 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-07 4409
129360 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-07 4108
129359 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-07 2711
129358 How does one\'s character influence their behavior,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2
129357 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4171
129356 Do you think that students should have a ticket discount in... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4898
129355 Do you hobbies that can put you at risk? Why? ¾È*½Ò ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 5216
129354 homework 07.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4666
129353 home work ÀÌ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3705
129352 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1
129351 My favorite beverage ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3181
129350 What do you think about Electronic Music Festivals like... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3152
129349 What country do you want to visit? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3853
129348 What food is best for summer season in your contry? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2832
129347 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4156
129346 What do you think of the Korean fashion style? Do you like it?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4713
129345 Difficult experiences are valuable. Do you agree or disagree? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1
129344 Why I want to recommend Korea to a foreigner ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4850
129343 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3
129342 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 5669

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04