¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What could be your advice for people who are suffering from insomnia?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 2384

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, people suffering from insomnia need to see a doctor for professional medical treatment. It could take psychiatric treatment to get well. On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep us peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert at late night.
Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them in faith in God. The reason why I can sleep well even in deep water is ascribed to my faith in God. So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to let them know how to respond it.
It is so heartbreaking to have more mental diseases including insomnia as time goes by. We need to improve this highly competitive society. If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new diseases besides insomnia. We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle down holistically and across the board.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!
Your answers were outstanding. Your personality can be seen on your writing.
Great job!
~ T. Demi ^^
Above all, people suffering from insomnia need to see a doctor for professional medical treatment. 
CORRECT!
It could take psychiatric treatment to get well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Psychiatric treatment could cure it.
On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep us peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert at late night.
>> On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep ourselves peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert late at night.
Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them in faith in God. 
>> Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them through faith in God. 
The reason why I can sleep well even in deep water is ascribed to my faith in God. 
CORRECT!
So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to let them know how to respond it.
>> So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to inform them how to deal with it.
It is so heartbreaking to have more mental diseases including insomnia as time goes by. 
CORRECT!
We need to improve this highly competitive society. 
CORRECT!
If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new diseases besides insomnia. 
>> If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new disorders besides insomnia. 
We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle down holistically and across the board.
>> We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle it holistically.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131074 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 0
131073 Do you have any goals that you feel are unrealistic? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 4424
131072 Wednesday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131071 . ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131070 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2596
131069 WRITING TASK: How do your family and friends help you when you... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 6
131068 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2775
131067 Are cars an extension of personality ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 3847
131066 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2750
131065 What daily activities do you have that you enjoy the most? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131064 What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131063 malaria ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1943
131062 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2663
131061 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2991
131060 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131059 Important factors in determining price of a property : location... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131058 What animal best represents you? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131057 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2661
131056 A first impression that can change °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 5
131055 What does the phrase \"be the change\" mean? Please respond in... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 3207

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04