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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-06-07 2073

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
I was somewhat busy today, but there was nothing special.
You know what?
Dr. MJ and I decided not to attend the morning conference anymore a few days ago.
We intended that our senior manager took part of the chair man of the conference instead of us.
Actually we couldn't be satisfied with her, however, we have seen no more resignation at least.
She is about ten years older than me, but she is good at her work.
Because of Dr.MJ, she almost resigned many times, but now, she has a confidence and affection with her work.
I can't help but respect her.
In spite of her old age, she overcame much pressure, especially from Dr. MJ.
She looks so happy these days, and it makes me happy too.
As a doctor, I want to be a No1 in our city.
However, financial freedom is more important for me.
Maybe I can teach many young doctors someday if I can have more time.
After paying back my debt, I can donate some of money to poor people.
But, now I can't imagine the future in detail.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day once again, Dr. Kim!

Being represented by someone you trust and has proven her worth give you pride and joy as business owners. Inevitably, young people look up to the older ones for wisdom and experience. As their leader, you can see how much positive impact she brings in your clinic. Since she is already old, she wants a stable income as well as attain a better working attitude to get through all adversities at work. I admire her for chewing the words od Dr. MJ like bullets and staying teachable.

By achieving financial independence, you will not only have greater control over your future but also the freedom and flexibility to pursue your own passions and interests.  When you're financially secure you can give your children a great start in life. You'll also be leading by example as you teach them the meaning of financial stability.

Congratulations in getting all correct sentences! I have a few suggestions but they are only to improve the structure of your work. Thank you for always submitting quality work!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I was somewhat busy today, but there was nothing special.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ and I decided not to attend the morning conference anymore a few days ago.
>> Correct!

We intended that our senior manager took part of the chair man of the conference instead of us.
>> Correct!
Or: We intended that our senior manager will represent us as chair man of the conference.

Actually we couldn't be satisfied with her, however, we have seen no more resignation at least.
>> Correct!

She is about ten years older than me, but she is good at her work.
>> Correct!

Because of Dr.MJ, she almost resigned many times, but now, she has a confidence and affection with her work.
>> Correct!

I can't help but respect her.
>> Correct!

In spite of her old age, she overcame much pressure, especially from Dr. MJ.
>> Correct!

She looks so happy these days, and it makes me happy too.
>> Correct!

As a doctor, I want to be a No1 in our city.
>> Correct!
Or: number one/ No.1

However, financial freedom is more important for me.
>> Correct!

Maybe I can teach many young doctors someday if I can have more time.
>> Correct!

After paying back my debt, I can donate some of money to poor people.
>> Correct!

But, now I can't imagine the future in detail.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!

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