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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-06-12 1373

회원님의 영작문

Hi, there.
How was your day?
I suppose you are so busy now, because I didn't get an answer for my essay yet.
Today, our clinic was not crowded.
However, we got enough revenue.
In addition, I could do my administrative works.
I wondered why my blood sugar level was high recently.
And I was suspious for the funcion of the checking device.
Thus, I checked my wife's level, and it showed too high as expected.
This was a happening last Saturday.
After that, I ordered another device immediately, and I will get new one within a several days.
It means there will be no blood sugar test for days.
And, that's why I ate a chicken and watermelon too much this evening.
I planned to meet my friends tomorrow evening.
Of course, we will enjoy drinkng and eating.
Furthermore, this Wednesday is my day off.
I can't help but happier with this thought.
Anyway, I think that we can call a success of our franchise business if we can get extra money without hardly effort.
I am full and happy now.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello once again, Dr. Kim!

Your guess was right, I was preoccupied today. So are you, I thought, but as you have mentioned, not quite. Getting  high profits with quality (costly) treatments and less patients is the goal! I am very happy for you and your whole team! Congratulations to a strong Monday performance!

Anyway, you have been constant in learning about your blood sugar level and I wonder how does your finger look like already after pricking it everyday. In a few days time, you will get more accurate results of your blood sugar count and we all hope that your old device is really inaccurate and gives wrong data. In short, may your expectations of a lower blood sugar level come true.

Meanwhile, your summer food may be high in sugar so watch out for excessive intake just the same especially when you meet your friends. Why not try being like Dr. MJ? Maybe, you can feel better giving away more food to others rather than chewing on your regular intake...

After tomorrow will be your day off. Wednesday is the best day to be off from work since it is the middle of the week. 

Your composition shows high frequency of correct sentences. Read my suggestions carefully and avoid committing the same mistakes next time.

Stay full and content. See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I suppose you are so busy now, because I didn't get an answer for my essay yet.
>> Correct!

Today, our clinic was not crowded.
>> Correct!

However, we got enough revenue.
>> Correct!

In addition, I could do my administrative works.
>> Correct!

I wondered why my blood sugar level was high recently.
>> Correct!

And I was suspious for the funcion of the checking device.
>> Correct!
Or: suspicious/function

Thus, I checked my wife's level, and it showed too high as expected.
>> Correct!

This was a happening last Saturday.
>> Correct!

After that, I ordered another device immediately, and I will get new one within a several days.
>> After that, I ordered another device immediately, and I will get new one within several days.

It means there will be no blood sugar test for days.
>> Correct!

And, that's why I ate a chicken and watermelon too much this evening.
>> Correct!

I planned to meet my friends tomorrow evening.
>> Correct!

Of course, we will enjoy drinkng and eating.
>> Correct!

Furthermore, this Wednesday is my day off.
>> Correct!

I can't help but happier with this thought.
>>  I can't help but be happier with this thought.

Anyway, I think that we can call a success of our franchise business if we can get extra money without hardly effort.
>> Correct!

I am full and happy now.
>> Correct!

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
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