¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you make new friends ? Is it easy or hard for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2023-06-14 1678

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

- There are many ways to make new friends. Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. Also it could be rich in conversation. It makes them close each other.
- However, it is not easy for me to make new friends. Because I have not many hobbies and interests. Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
- Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don¡¯t want to do anything. Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. After that, I tend not to join a club. Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. So I have some difficulties to make new friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Demi!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please take note not to start your sentences with conjunctions if they are a continuation of a previous thought.
Analyze the proper usage of pronouns as well.
You can only use them if you have previously mentioned a noun to replace.
Be careful with your articles as well.
Overall, you have expressed yourself well and you made proper choices with your vocabulary words.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
There are many ways to make new friends. 
>> Correct
Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. 
>> Correct
People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. 
>> People usually open their mind easily to others who share a common interest with them. 
Also it could be rich in conversation. 
>> This can also enrich a conversation.
It makes them close each other.
>> It makes them close to each other.
However, it is not easy for me to make new friends.
>> Correct
Because I have not many hobbies and interests.
>> It's because I don't have many hobbies and interests.
Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. 
>> I am especially quite passive in talking with others at first. 
Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
>> Once I get to know them, I become very active and friendly to them.
Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don¡¯t want to do anything. 
>> Correct
Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. 
>> Thus, I used to break appointments to attend club activities.
Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. 
>> Whenever it happened, I felt sorry to our club members.
After that, I tend not to join a club. 
>> After some time, I just avoided joining clubs altogether. 
Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. 
>> Anyway, I think I am quite an introverted person. 
So I have some difficulties to make new friends.
>> So, I have some difficulties in making new friends.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128434 Question ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2
128433 What do you do in your free time? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2479
128432 How can you convince someone to take a position he/she doesn\'t... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 5
128431 Minds! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2027
128430 How was your day? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1059
128429 How does divorce affects children? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1761
128428 Eleanor Roosevelt said: ¡°Great minds discuss ideas; average... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2267
128427 What do you like doing on holidays? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2143
128425 Is it rude to speak your own language around people who can¡¯t... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 3
128424 HOMEWORK: Who is the best conversationalist that you have ever... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2357
128423 Answer : Do you wish you worked in a different company? Why or... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1904
128422 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2333
128421 The most dangerous disease ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2462
128420 May. 24 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1382
128419 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2062
128418 Homowork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2114
128417 Do you think that the education system is changing? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128416 We can\'t tame a wild animal as a pet. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128415 homework 05.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 2268

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04